Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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