Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
