this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
