Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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