I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
