Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
