I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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