Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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