dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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