Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
