she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
