Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
