he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I haven't been this sober since birth.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
