tell your sister to shave her snatch
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
