ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
