I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize