Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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