Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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