he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
