i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
