In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Your tits are I can't wait for
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
