dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
