I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
