Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
