OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
...so i touched it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
