Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
