What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
