So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
