I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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