these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
