Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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