we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
