I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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