he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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