just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
