If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
