She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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