just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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