Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Pooping to opera.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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