i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
