I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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