vagina is talking i cant
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
