My hand turned me down
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
