Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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