i wish there were pregnant emoticons
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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