i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
