Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize