let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
zippers are such a cool invention
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
