i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
