Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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