So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
