): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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