Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize