to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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