hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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