She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
