Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
