Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
