I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
