i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
