the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
