Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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