6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
