Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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