Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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