Me too!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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