Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
