My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
