butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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