Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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