i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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