hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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