Say something about gay babies.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
