I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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