bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
