I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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