It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
